One Stupid Person
by quixotic-hope
Summary: Having lost his value as a spy for the light, Severus must now take a deaging potion and befriend the dratted BoyWhoLived. But what happens when he starts falling in love? HPSS.
1. The Plan

**Title: **One Stupid Person

**Author: **quixotic-hope (harrysev)

**Beta:** Amanda Saitou

**Pairing: **Harry/Severus

**Rating: **R

**Genres: **Romance, Angst, Fluff, First time

**Warnings: **slight-AU (ignoring HBP)

**Spoilers: **1-5

**Summary: **Having lost his value as a spy for the light, Severus must now take a de-aging potion and befriend the dratted Boy-Who-Lived. But what happens when he starts falling in love?

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter and Co. belong to the wonderfully talented JK Rowling. I mean no harm by using her characters in this story. I am making no money whatsoever; I merely hope to entertain people.

"_You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you. Then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…"_

Rose Walker

**Chapter 1: The Plan**

"Have you completely lost your mind?"

Severus Snape sat in his usual seat before the Headmaster, his mouth drawn in a tight line to prevent it from dropping open in shock. The Headmaster just sat back in his seat and looked up at the furious man before him.

"Severus, don't look at me like that," admonished the Headmaster. "Now that Voldemort knows that you're a spy, you won't be of much use to us the way you are."

"And how exactly will I be of use to you at the age of seventeen?" Severus demanded, not liking the direction this conversation was taking.

"Severus, you know as well as I that something is wrong with Harry," said Dumbledore calmly.

Severus snorted. He should have known that this would have something to do with the dratted Boy-Who-Lived. Dumbledore frowned at him and continued.

"He's been looking depressed for several months now. His friends tell me they haven't been able to discern what the problem is, but I know that something is wrong. I want to enroll you in Hogwarts as a student. You will befriend Harry and keep me updated on his activities. Is that understood?"

"Why can't the wolf do it?" argued Severus. "He's at least friends with the brat. How am I supposed to befriend him?"

"Remus is already undercover for the Order. And you were a spy for twenty years, Severus," said Dumbledore gently. "I have perfect confidence that you'll be able to win the boy over."

"Of course I can 'win the boy over,'" snarled Snape. "All I'd have to do is fawn over him like every other member of his fan club. My question was how was I supposed to gain his trust?"

Dumbledore frowned again. "Perhaps you might try treating him like a human being?" he suggested. "Nearly everyone in his life treats him like an icon. I'm sure he would appreciate someone who simply wanted to get to know him for him."

Severus quickly turned his snort into a cough.

"Very well," sighed Severus. "I see I have no say in the matter. How is this going to work?"

"Excellent!" said Dumbledore, clapping his hands together. "I would like you to start brewing the potion immediately. You will take the Hogwarts Express like all the other students. Try to befriend Harry right away. We will explain that you are a foreign exchange student, and you will be sorted into Gryffindor."

"I can hardly wait," spat Severus sarcastically.


	2. Loneliness

**Title: **One Stupid Person

**Author: **quixotic-hope (harrysev)

**Beta:** Amanda Saitou

**Pairing: **Harry/Severus

**Rating: **R

**Genres: **Romance, Angst, Fluff, First time

**Warnings: **slight-AU (ignoring HBP)

**Spoilers: **1-5

**Summary: **Having lost his value as a spy for the light, Severus must now take a Death Eater-aging potion and befriend the dratted Boy-Who-Lived. But what happens when he starts falling in love?

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter and Co. belong to the wonderfully talented JK Rowling. I mean no harm by using her characters in this story. I am making no money whatsoever; I merely hope to entertain people.

**Chapter 2: Loneliness**

Harry Potter was depressed.

Nothing could ever be easy for him, could it? He had had an evil psychopath after him since he was born, relatives who got their main thrills in life out of making him as miserable as possible, and two best friends who were so wrapped up in their new relationship that they didn't seem to care about him anymore. Oh, and he was gay. Not only was Harry gay, but he was in love with his evil, greasy Potions master.

Harry sighed as he looked out his window at Privet Drive. He knew he should tell Ron and Hermione that he was gay, but he didn't know how they'd react. He was fairly positive that Ron would flip out on him, but he wasn't sure about Hermione. She seemed more likely of the two to understand, but that didn't mean that she would be supportive.

_Hey guys; I'm in love with Snape. How was your summer? Oh yeah, that'll go over well, _thought Harry miserably.

Not that there was any point in telling them that he was in love with Snape even if he did plan on telling them that he was gay. Snape would never love him back, of that Harry was sure. The Potions master was so intelligent, so sarcastic, so beautiful, that Harry knew he didn't have a chance.

Harry moved away from the window and started to pull his pajamas on. So what if Snape would never love him? Harry didn't need Snape. He would forget all about the older man, and find someone who could love him. After all, there were over six billion people on the planet. One of them had to think he was worth something.

Right?

**A/n: I know this was short; that's why I posted the first two chapters at the same time. These first two chapters aren't really chapters; they're more like two prologues used to show the audience Harry's and Sev's feelings going into the start of term. The chapters should be longer in the future. **

**My website is www (dot) livejournal (dot) com (slash) users (slash) harry (underscore) sev (slash)**

**All my songfics are located there. I have a new songfic posted on there: "Your Eyes." I couldn't post it here because of the rules against songfics. All my other songfics are on the page as well. **


	3. Introductions

**Title: **One Stupid Person

**Author: **quixotic-hope (harrysev)

**Beta:** Amanda Saitou

**Pairing: **Harry/Severus

**Rating: **R

**Genres: **Romance, Angst, Fluff, First time

**Warnings: **slight-AU (ignoring HBP)

**Spoilers: **1-5

**Summary: **Having lost his value as a spy for the light, Severus must now take a Death Eater-aging potion and befriend the dratted Boy-Who-Lived. But what happens when he starts falling in love?

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter and Co. belong to the wonderfully talented JK Rowling. I mean no harm by using her characters in this story. I am making no money whatsoever; I merely hope to entertain people.

**Chapter 3: Introductions **

On board the Hogwarts Express, Harry quickly found an empty compartment and sat down. Ron and Hermione were in the Prefect's cabin, and they had asked him to save them a seat. Harry wondered if they'd even show up at all, but quickly brushed the thought away. Deciding that he had nothing better to do, Harry picked a book out of his trunk (yes, he did read!) and started to read.

A few minutes later Harry heard a knock. He looked up in time to see his compartment door slide open. Harry had to clamp his jaw shut to keep from gaping. Standing before him was a young man of about his age, with dark brown hair down to his shoulders. His hair looked very soft, Harry noticed. His eyes were a deep brown color, and they matched his hair perfectly. He was taller than Harry by a few inches, and he was dressed from head to toe in black. Harry swallowed.

"Is anyone sitting here?" the stranger asked.

"A couple of my friends are supposed to show up later, but you're more than welcome to join us," said Harry once he got his brain working again.

"Thank you," said the boy stiffly before taking a seat across from Harry.

"I'm Harry," said Harry. He didn't want to give his last name unless he had to. "I haven't seen you before, and you look too old to be a first year."

_I'm too old to be in school at all, _thought Severus bitterly. He noticed that Harry hadn't told him his last name and promptly told himself that he was not curious in the least.

Aloud, he said, "That's because I am. My name is Alan Rickman. I am a seventh year."

"So am I," Harry told him, his interest growing. "Where did you transfer from?"

_Nosy little prat, isn't he? _thought Severus. "France. My parents were murdered. I moved in with my uncle," Severus recited.

"I'm sorry," said Harry, thinking back on his own life and wondering if Alan's uncle was any nicer than his own. Knowing that he wouldn't want to talk about his parents, Harry asked, "What's France like?"

"Well, people are far less inclined to stick their noses in other people's business there," snapped Severus.

Harry flushed and looked down at his hands. He could take a hint. "Sorry," he muttered and went back to reading.

Severus saw Harry look down at his book and sighed. He really shouldn't be so hard on the boy he was supposed to befriend.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," said Severus, swallowing as much of his pride as he could. "I do not like thinking of my old life." _Well, that was true enough._

"I can understand that," said Harry.

_My ass you can understand that, _snorted Severus, but he wisely chose to say nothing.

"You never told me your last name," Severus pointed out. He saw Harry sigh and raised an eyebrow.

"Potter," said Harry quietly, watching to see Severus' reaction.

_Probably trying to see how much I gawk over him, _thought Severus cynically. _Well, fuck if he thinks I'm going to do that._

"Famous Harry Potter?" he asked mockingly.

"You could say that," said Harry, looking rather upset as he glanced down at his book.

Severus figured that Harry was upset because he hadn't fawned over him. His gaze fell on the book Harry was reading and had to fight off a snort of laughter. Potter read outside of class? He found that hard to believe. Deciding to ignore Potter for the time being (he did, after all, have all year to get to know the brat), Severus pulled out a book of his own and started to read.

xxx

Harry and Severus sat in relative silence for another hour before the compartment door slid open, and Ron and Hermione stepped in. Both were surprised to find someone other than Harry in the compartment.

"Hey, guys," said Harry, ignoring their flushed faces. Following their gaze to the young man before him, he said, "This is Alan Rickman. He transferred here from France. Alan, these are my friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger."

Severus bit his tongue to prevent himself from pointing out how rude it was for someone to call another by his given name without permission. He inclined his head to the two and then turned back to his book.

"Oh! I went to France a few summers ago! Isn't it just lovely there?" asked Hermione eagerly, sitting down next to Severus.

"I suppose," said Severus idly, making a point to turn the page of his book. Hermione, apparently not having taken the hint, continued speaking.

"I went with my parents. Naturally, we visited the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, and the Musée d'Orsay. Have you ever been to any of them? I'm sure you must have. Don't you just love France? Why did you leave?"

"Because my parents were murdered," snapped Severus, effectively shutting Hermione up. Harry had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing at the look on Hermione's face. Severus saw amusement flicker across Harry's face, but didn't comment.

"Oh," said Hermione, feeling very out of place all of a sudden. "I'm sorry."

Severus fought to keep an amused smirk off his face. He was, after all, supposed to be distraught at the thought of his parents' supposed death. An uncomfortable silence filled the room.

"So Harry, did you hear the good news?" asked Ron, clearly trying to change subjects.

"No, what?"

"Snape's gone!" exclaimed Ron joyously.

Several emotions fought within Harry. On the one hand, he was relieved that Snape wasn't going to be there. Whenever Snape was around, he did everything in his power to make Harry feel as small and inadequate as possible, which always made Harry's chest clench painfully. On the other hand, Harry wasn't sure if he was ready to go an entire year without seeing Snape. What if Snape never came back? What if Harry never saw Snape again? Harry didn't know if he could handle that.

Severus was not surprised to see relief flood Harry's eyes. What he was surprised to see was an overwhelming sadness and fear. What on earth would the boy be sad about? Shouldn't he be happy that his evil Potions professor was no longer around?

"I take it you do not like this Snape very much?" asked Severus, interested to hear what the trio would have to say.

"He's a bastard," said Ron bitterly. "All he ever did was criticize and take points for no reason. Unless you were a Slytherin, that is. He treated Slytherins like they were Merlin's gift to the universe or something. And his hair was really greasy. You should've seen it! It was like he never took a shower or—"

"Shut up!"

All occupants turned to look at Harry in surprise. Harry was turning red in the face, whether from anger or embarrassment, no one knew.

"He was not a bastard," argued Harry heatedly. "Yes, he did criticize and take points, and yes, he did treat the Slytherins so much better than everyone else, but he still taught us a lot. And your hair would be greasy, too, if you spent all day over a cauldron!"

Hermione, Ron, and Severus were stunned speechless.

_Potter doesn't hate me? _thought Snape.

_What the hell's the matter with Harry? _wondered Ron.

Hermione just gave Harry a thoughtful expression.

Feeling the gaze of everyone's eyes on his face, Harry turned bright red. He hadn't meant to say all of that. He simply couldn't stand to hear Ron berate Snape like that. Deciding to ignore the group, Harry sunk further down into the seat and resumed his reading.

Ron looked at Hermione, who shrugged.

"Come on," she said, tugging Ron's hand. "Let's go patrol the halls." Ron nodded and followed Hermione out of the room, stopping to give Harry one more odd glance on his way out.

That left Harry and Severus alone.

"Who's Snape?" asked Severus. He saw Harry go red once more and frowned. What was the matter with Potter?

"He is—w-was our Potion's Master," said Harry quietly, not looking at Alan. "He was also head of Slytherin House."

Severus was surprised to hear Harry call him 'Potions' Master' instead of 'Potions' Professor,' but said nothing.

"Your friend Weasley seems to despise him. Why do you not?"

Harry sighed. This was a hard question to answer, one that he didn't think he could answer truthfully. Glancing up, he saw curiosity and something else, something unreadable, in the other's eyes. He felt the need to be honest. Well, at least somewhat.

"I did hate him, for a while. Then I realized that he's not as bad as everyone thinks." Seeing Alan raise an eyebrow, Harry elaborated. "I mean, I can understand why everyone hates him. But, it's just, he's saved my life several times. I didn't realize it at the time, but he has. I know he didn't want to, I mean, the guy hates me..."

Severus saw sadness in Harry's eyes as he said that last statement and wondered about it. Could Potter really be upset because Snape hated him? Harry shook his head and resumed speaking.

"Anyway, he still saved me. I never thanked him for it. And he never, he never treated me like I was better because I was famous. Well, he treated me worse actually, but it was better than all those people fawning over me. I just wish he hadn't hated me so much," added Harry quietly. Realizing that he had spoken too much again, he blushed and picked his book back up.

Severus stared at Harry in shock. Potter didn't want to be fawned over? That had to be some sort of joke. Potter loved all the attention he got. What was he playing at? Why had he said that he wished that Snape hadn't hated him? Surely his opinion of the boy did not matter that much.

One afternoon with the boy had managed to confuse him more than anything else in his life, Severus realized. Seeing that Harry had continued to read, Severus picked up his own book and looked down. For some reason, he could not concentrate. His mind kept drifting back to the previous conversation, to what Harry had said. _I just wish he hadn't hated me so much. _What the hell was the matter with him?

xxx

Hours later, they were at Hogwarts. Severus followed Potter and his friends to a carriage and sat down next to Potter. Weasley and Granger were sitting oddly close together, he noticed. Their hands were clasped tightly together between them. Potter was staring out the window, a sad look on his face.

_Perhaps Albus was right, _conceded Severus. _Perhaps he is depressed._

When the carriages arrived at the school, Severus left Potter and his friends in search of Minerva. He found the Deputy Headmistress leading the first years up the stairs. She smiled when she saw him. Severus frowned.

"Ah, Mr. Rickman. Thank you for joining us. We were about to go to the Sorting," she said, an amused glint in her eye that could rival the Headmaster's.

"I can hardly wait," he responded curtly. He saw the other students look at him in surprise and had to stifle a smirk.

"This way, please," said McGonagall, leading the students to the Great Hall. The Sorting Hat was already waiting for them. Dumbledore stood, smiling down at Severus.

"Ladies and gentlemen, before the sorting begins I have an announcement to make. This is Alan Rickman," said Dumbledore, gesturing toward Severus. Severus nodded his head and turned cold eyes on the Headmaster. Dumbledore smiled a little. "He has decided to spend his last year of education here at Hogwarts. He will be sorted first, and then the first years will continue as normal. I trust you all will make him, as well as the first years, feel right at home."

Severus glared at Dumbledore as he walked over to the Sorting Hat. The twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes only irritated him more. Sighing in defeat, Severus gracefully sank onto the stool and placed the hat on his head. His house was, of course, already determined, but he needed to give off the illusion of being sorted.

_Well, Mr. Snape. So good to see you again, _said the Hat. Severus frowned, knowing the Hat could tell he that he was even without actually seeing him. _Up to the challenge of being a Gryffindor?_

_Oh bugger off, _thought Severus irritably. _Just get this over with._

_Oh very well, _sighed the Hat. "GRYFFINDOR!"

Gryffindor started clapping, although Severus could tell that they were not as welcoming as they usually looked. Perhaps it had something to do with his clothing? Without a word, Severus took off the Hat and walked over to Gryffindor Table, sitting down next to Potter. He alone seemed to be happy with his new housemate.

"Nice to see you, again," smiled Harry.

"I wish I could say the same," replied Severus. He saw Harry's smile deflate and felt guilty. "Your housemates do not appear to like me very much," he added, hoping to take the edge out of his last comment.

"They all assumed that you would be placed in Slytherin," Harry told him. "You were glaring at Dumbledore," he added by means of explaining himself.

"Was I?" asked Severus with false innocence. To his surprise, Harry chuckled.

"Just a bit," said Harry.

Severus didn't know what to think. Was befriending Potter really going to be this easy? Maybe he could figure out what was wrong with the boy quickly, then, and be back to teaching next term. Yes, decided Severus, this wasn't going to be so hard after all.

**Author's Note: I hope you all don't mind that I named Sev "Alan Rickman." grins I couldn't think of anything else to name him. **


	4. Changing Perceptions

**Title: **One Stupid Person

**Author: **quixotic-hope (harrysev)

**Beta: **Amanda Saitou

**Pairing: **Harry/Severus

**Rating: **R

**Genres: **Romance, Angst, Fluff, First time

**Warnings: **slight-AU (ignoring HBP)

**Spoilers: **1-5

**Summary: **Having lost his value as a spy for the light, Severus must now take a Death Eater-aging potion and befriend the dratted Boy-Who-Lived. But what happens when he starts falling in love?

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter and Co. belong to the wonderfully talented JK Rowling. I mean no harm by using her characters in this story. I am making no money whatsoever; I merely hope to entertain people.

**Chapter 4: Changing Perceptions**

Severus scowled. Erica Ingram had been hired to take his place teaching Potions, and she had absolutely no talent whatsoever. She gave out wrong information, was unable to answer a single question, and always appeared to be nervous. Severus took great pleasure, therefore, in asking her difficult questions that he knew she couldn't answer. Making her squirm was his only pleasure in life now. She hated him, of that he was sure, but he did not care. Albus should have thought about what he was doing before he hired this woman.

"The potion you all will be making is on page two-fifty. Everyone divide into pairs and get to work," Ingram told them. Then she sat down at her desk (_my desk, _thought Severus savagely) and began to read _Witch Weekly. _

"Would you like to be my partner?"

Severus tore his glare away from Ingram and found himself staring into emerald green eyes. Blinking, he realized he hadn't been listening to anything Potter had just said.

"Excuse me?"

"I asked if you wanted to be my partner," asked Potter, looking slightly nervous.

Severus saw that everyone else had already divided into pairs except for himself, Potter, Longbottom, and Finnegan. Deciding to go with the lesser evil, Severus nodded to Potter.

"Okay, do you want me to go get the ingredients?"

"If that would make you feel useful," conceded Severus, turning to the assigned page and looking down at the potion they were supposed to be making: a healing potion. Severus sighed. He had been able to successfully brew a healing potion since he was eight.

He watched as Potter joined his fellow classmates at the storage cupboard. He decided that this would be a good time to see how Potter brewed a potion when his evil professor was not standing over him. The boy came back with an armful of supplies and gently laid them out of the workbench.

"Alright, what's first?" Harry asked, looking down at the book. Severus said nothing. Harry looked up. Severus was standing exactly how he had been when Harry left. The book was open before him, but he had made no effort to read what they should do.

"Are you going to help?" asked Harry. "I'm really not very good at potions, so if you want a passing grade I would suggest you help."

Famous Potter admitting he wasn't good at something? _Probably wants me to do everything, _reasoned Severus.

"I don't care very much for grades," said Severus evenly. He watched Harry give him a calculating look before shaking his head and returning to the potion.

"All right, then." Harry read the first few directions, picked up his knife, and began chopping the dandelion roots. Severus cringed.

"What are you doing?"

Harry looked up at him in surprise. "Slicing the roots."

"That's not slicing! That's chopping!"

"There's a difference?" asked Harry, surprised.

"Of course there's a difference!" snapped Severus. "No wonder you're abysmal at potions. You don't even know about the different cutting techniques!"

Harry flinched at the harsh tone of the other boy. Alan reminded him of Snape when he yelled. Shaking his head, Harry looked Alan trying to think of something to say.

"I didn't realize it mattered," he said. "I'm used to cooking at my aunt and uncle's. There, it doesn't matter how you cut things, just as long as it all ends up in the same bowl."

"Well, this is not a kitchen," growled Severus, trying to calm down and speak to Potter as a student as opposed to a teacher. "With Potions, the technique matters very much."

"So, how do you slice roots, then?" asked Harry. Severus was startled to hear sincerity in the boy's voice. He honestly wanted to learn something about Potions.

Severus picked up his own knife and a couple of new roots. He gave one to Harry and kept one for himself.

"Slicing roots takes far more patience than chopping them. You want to get them as thin as you can without their ripping." Severus slowly sliced the root. He could, of course, have sliced it in much less time, but he wanted to make sure that Harry saw what he was doing. "See? You try."

Harry picked up his knife and slowly mimicked the other's movements. His root, though not perfect, was much thinner than it had been a moment ago.

"That's better," said Severus, the encouragement leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. "Try slicing them a little thinner."

Harry did what Alan suggested and soon found that slicing roots wasn't nearly as hard as he had thought. He saw Alan nod in approval and felt proud of himself. He sliced the appropriate amount of roots, then turned to the next direction: dice a pound of sopophorous beans.

"I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that dicing and chopping are two completely different things as well," said Harry, turning once again to Alan. He saw Alan's mouth twitch a little as if he was trying not to laugh, and Harry felt elated.

"In order to dice these beans correctly, you should…"

Severus spent the rest of class teaching Potter to make the potion. He was surprised to find that Potter was actually a fast learner, once you took the time to explain things to him. By the time class was over their potion looked exactly like it was supposed to look. Severus hadn't added one thing.

"Wow, I think that's the first potion I've ever turned in that looks the way it's supposed to," Harry smiled as he and Alan left the classroom. His smile dimmed a little. "Too bad Snape's not here to see it," he added quietly to himself.

xxx

Later that evening found Harry and Alan in the common room. Ron and Hermione had wandered off somewhere, leaving the other two alone to work on their homework. Harry was about to start working on his Transfiguration essay when Dennis Creevey walked up to him. Harry sighed quietly.

"Dennis," said Harry politely. "What can I do for you?"

"Could you help me with this spell?" the younger boy asked.

"What spell?" asked Harry, pushing aside his papers. Alan looked up from his own work, his eyes focused on Harry.

"Accio," answered Dennis, looking down at his feet. "I know that you used that spell in the Triwizard Tournament, so I thought maybe you could help me with it."

"Sure," agreed Harry, standing up and pulling out his wand. "What are you having trouble with?"

"I just can't seem to do it," said Dennis exasperatedly. "I keep saying the words, and nothing happens."

"What are you thinking about when you say it?"

"Um...well—"

"You're thinking about how much you really want to get this spell right, aren't you?" smiled Harry. He laughed when Dennis nodded.

"Right, well that's the first thing that you need to change. I learned this the hard way. You have to focus solely on whatever object it is that you want to summon. Don't think about anything else but that object. Alright?"

"Okay," agreed Dennis. He paused for a moment. "What should I try to call?"

"You should call..." Harry thought a moment. His eyes fell on his Transfiguration book. "Try summoning this book from my hand," he said, grabbing the book off the table.

"Alright..._Accio!"_

Nothing happened. Dennis slumped his shoulders in defeat.

"Don't look so depressed!" encouraged Harry. "I didn't get it at first, either. Flitwick had to give me extra homework, actually, before I could finally get it right."

Severus stared in surprise as Potter worked with Creevey for another hour. The boy was actually admitting that he had needed help? That was twice in one day he had admitted to not being perfect at something. What was the world coming to? He had had the perfect opportunity to rub his superiority in this boy's face, and yet Potter had opted to help him. That was not something James Potter would have done. It was more something that Lily would have done, realized Severus.

Maybe, just maybe, there was more to Potter than he thought.


	5. Fights and Friendship

**Title: **One Stupid Person

**Author: **quixotic-hope (harrysev)

**Beta:** Amanda Saitou

**Pairing: **Harry/Severus

**Rating: **R

**Genres: **Romance, Angst, Fluff, First time

**Warnings: **slight-AU (ignoring HBP)

**Spoilers: **1-5

**Summary: **Having lost his value as a spy for the light, Severus must now take a Death Eater-aging potion and befriend the dratted Boy-Who-Lived. But what happens when he starts falling in love?

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter and Co. belong to the wonderfully talented JK Rowling. I mean no harm by using her characters in this story. I am making no money whatsoever; I merely hope to entertain people.

**Chapter 5: Fights and Friendship**

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Alan were seated around a table in the Common Room. Harry was trying to add another four inches onto his Charms essay; Alan was engrossed in a book; Ron and Hermione took turns looking at their papers and looking at each other. Finally, Ron broke the silence.

"I'm tired of homework," he said.

"Me, too," said Harry. He hadn't really had much of a chance to do anything interesting with Ron in a while; the redhead was always off doing something with Hermione. Harry hoped that maybe tonight he and Ron could do something together.

"Want to play chess or something?" Harry asked.

"Nah," said Ron, shaking his head and giving Hermione a very pointed look. "I think I need some fresh air."

"I think I'll come with you," said Hermione, piling up her books. "I'm almost done with this essay, anyway. I can finish it later."

"See you later, Harry," said Ron as he and Hermione got up and left.

Harry watched sullenly as the two left. He had been happy for Ron and Hermione at first, but this was getting ridiculous. He never got to see either of his best friends anymore. Sure, Alan was there, but he wasn't much of a conversationalist. He usually just sat around reading or watching people.

xxx

Severus watched the scene before him unfold. He was slightly irritated with Weasley and Granger. Couldn't they see that they were hurting Potter? Not that he cared, of course, but they should. Couldn't Weasley play a game with Potter before going to snog his girlfriend?

Severus watched as Harry, once again depressed, turned back to his essay. Maybe now was a good time to get Potter's mind off his friends' idiocy.

"I don't see why you care so much that they're gone," he said, idly turning the pages in the book he had read ten times already. "I mean, I don't see their absence as a great loss."

xxx

Harry looked up, startled. His confusion suddenly turned to anger. Sure, maybe his best friends had ditched him, again, but they were still his best friends. Who was Alan to insult them?

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Harry snapped.

xxx

_Well, angry-Potter is better than sullen-Potter, _thought Severus. At least he was making progress.

"That means that, while some people's absences leave one feeling sad and bored, your friends' absences leave no such feelings. They provide neither meaningful insight into a person's life nor, as far as I can tell for the month or so that I have known them, anything slightly entertaining to any conversation. I would have just as soon miss a pile of bricks as I would one of them."

"You don't know anything about them!" yelled Harry defensively. "They are very entertaining people! They're a hell of a lot more entertaining than you are! All you do is sit there reading a book. What do you do to provide 'meaningful insight' into people's lives, huh? No wonder you don't have any friends."

With that, Harry turned and stormed upstairs to his room.

_Well, that wasn't what I was aiming for, _thought Severus. He had only been trying to get Potter to not feel so glum about his friends' new relationship. Well, he supposed he did that. Now, instead of feeling sad about his friends, Potter would hate him.

Great. He was supposed to be befriending Potter. Severus sighed. He believed he should apologize to the brat. He thought back to what Potter had said…_No wonder you don't have any friends…_

No, Severus never wondered why he didn't have any friends. He knew damn well why he didn't have any friends. People were stupid. That and the fact that as soon as he got to Hogwarts Potter Sr. and Black had made sure that no one would speak to him.

Shaking away thoughts of his first seven years at Hogwarts, Severus tried to find the will to go up and apologize to Potter. He still didn't think he had done anything wrong, but he thought that he should get back into Potter's good graces. He wondered what he'd have to do to win the boy back. Something highly embarrassing, no doubt. That thought delayed Severus' going upstairs for another ten minutes at least.

xxx

Once upstairs, Harry thought about what Alan had said. His initial anger had worn off, leaving him feeling cold and empty. Alan had a point. Sure, in the past six years Ron and Hermione had been great friends, but now they were hardly friends at all. In fact, Harry spent more time with Alan than he did with Ron and Hermione. And Alan was somewhat amusing most of the time.

Harry sighed. He supposed he shouldn't have gotten so mad at Alan. The boy was only trying to make him feel better about being ditched by his best friends. Well, Harry assumed that's what Alan was doing, anyway

Harry thought back to what he had said to Alan. _No wonder you don't have any friends…_How could he have said that? He knew what it was like to grow up alone and without any friends. How could he say that to someone else? Especially to someone else who had only been trying to help, someone who was no doubt the only friend Harry would have for the next few months or so, while Ron and Hermione were infatuated with each other.

Harry sighed again. He wondered what he'd have to do to make Alan forgive him. Would the other boy forgive him? Harry had been pretty nasty. Then again, Alan had insulted his best friends; he was allowed to be slightly pissed off, wasn't he?

Deciding that he was going to have to say something sooner or later, Harry turned and started walking toward the door. He was about to reach for the handle when the door opened and Alan walked into the room. They both stood there, not saying a word.

"I have something to say to you," said Alan.

"Let me go first," said Harry.

_Of course he gets to go first, _scowled Severus. _He's the Boy Who Lived. Well, let him go first. He'll start cursing me. Then I'll apologize, and he'll look like an idiot. _

"Alright," agreed Alan.

"Okay, good," said Harry. He drew a big breath. "I'm sorry."

"What?" That wasn't what he expected at all.

"I'm sorry for what I said. You were right. They haven't been too good of friends lately. I should never had said what I did. You're actually pretty funny most of the time. And I know what it's like to not have a lot of friends, so I should have known better than to say that. I understand if you don't forgive me, but I had to say it anyway."

Severus was shocked. Potter was apologizing? What the hell was wrong with the boy? Severus briefly stopped to count the number of times he had asked himself that question in the past month and a half, then turned his attention back to Potter. The boy looked sincere in his apology.

"I suppose I should apologize as well," said Severus, still slightly suspicious of Potter's behavior. "They are your friends. I should not have insulted them…even if what I said was true."

Harry laughed a little at the end of Alan's apology.

"You shouldn't really apologize. You're entitled to your own opinion. Besides, I know you were just trying to make me feel better, in your own way. So, I guess, thanks."

_Potter is thanking me for insulting his friends, _thought Severus. _Dear Merlin, the world's coming to an end._

"I'm glad you realized that," said Severus.

The two stood in a semi-awkward silence for a moment. Then—

"Do you want to play a game of chess?" asked Harry tentatively.

Severus saw Potter's hesitancy, and, for some reason he could not understand, felt a wave of sympathy for the boy.

"Alright," said Severus, and he tried to tell himself that he didn't care in the slightest that Potter now looked happier than he had in weeks. "But don't expect me to go easy on you."

Harry grinned.

"Wouldn't dream of it."

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. I wasn't going to update this until I had finished the next chapter, but I'm about halfway through with that one, so I figured I'd go ahead and update.**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I really appreciate your comments. Please continue to review and let me know what you think!**


	6. Hogsmeade

**Title: **One Stupid Person

**Author: **quixotic-hope (harrysev)

**Beta:** Amanda Saitou

**Pairing: **Harry/Severus

**Rating: **R

**Genres: **Romance, Angst, Fluff, First time

**Warnings: **slight-AU (ignoring HBP)

**Spoilers: **1-5

**Summary: **Having lost his value as a spy for the light, Severus must now take a Death Eater-aging potion and befriend the dratted Boy-Who-Lived. But what happens when he starts falling in love?

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter and Co. belong to the wonderfully talented JK Rowling. I mean no harm by using her characters in this story. I am making no money whatsoever; I merely hope to entertain people.

**Chapter 6: Hogsmeade **

Never in his wild imagination did Severus Snape expect to find himself accompanying Harry Potter into a bookstore. And yet, here he was, watching as the boy looked through countless shelves of books.

"Don't you want to look at anything?" Harry asked when he noticed that Alan wasn't doing anything.

"In a moment," said Severus, staring at the boy with suspicion. "For now I'm trying to figure out who you are and what you have done with the Boy Who Lived."

Harry, who normally hated being referred to in such a manner, found himself laughing in spite of himself.

"What, don't think I'm capable of reading?" he asked. At Alan's raised eyebrow, Harry continued. "I actually do enjoy reading, you know. I just don't like reading books for school."

"Of course you don't," sneered Severus, though he was surprised to find he did not feel any actual hatred directed toward the boy. "You wouldn't want to be accused of trying to learn something, would you?"

Harry rolled his eyes. laughed, and continued looking at books.

Shaking his head, Severus wandered away. He wanted to observe Potter, but he had a feeling that Potter would feel more comfortable without someone breathing down his back. Normally Severus would look over at the Potions section, but he found watching Potter to be much more amusing.

To his great surprise, Severus found that he was following Potter toward the part of the store dealing with sexuality. Now, Severus knew that teenage boys were interested in sex, but he did not think that Potter would be in this section. The boy wasn't looking at the smut-filled trash that most teens read. Instead, he was looking toward the gay section of the store.

Curious, Severus watched as Potter looked around, as though he was trying to make sure that no one would see him in such a section. Then Potter reached over and picked up a book that Severs saw was entitled "Sexuality and You: Understanding Your Feelings."

The boy was gay? That was something he never would have suspected. Potter's paranoia was obvious, as every few minutes he would glance up and make sure that no one was looking at him. The one time a person, the only other person in the store besides Harry, Severus, and the owner, started walking down the same aisle that Potter was in, the boy quickly stepped and started looking at the shelf next to the sexuality section. Severus snorted. He didn't think anyone would believe that Potter was looking at the women's studies section.

(a/n: sorry, but I spend a lot of time at book stores, and gay&lesbian books are always next to women's studies. And I am very good at making it look like I am not looking at the gay section. grins)

After the stranger passed, not looking at Potter at all, Potter placed the sexuality book back on the shelf and began to look at the gay fiction section. Severus was tempted to go over and start looking at the books himself, but he decided to give Potter his privacy. Instead, Severus turned and walked over to the Potions section.

What was Potter doing in that section of the bookstore? Severus wondered. Surely the boy wonder wasn't gay. Then again, figured Severus, that would explain why Potter looked so depressed lately. Severus knew first-hand that being gay wasn't always accepted, especially if you were the savior of the wizarding world. However, being the savior might make Harry's "coming out" time easier. After all, he was the Boy Who Lived. If anyone would get away with being gay, it was him.

Severus looked at books for another fifteen minutes before Harry walked up to him. Severus wasn't surprised to see the boy's hands were empty. He doubted Harry would ever feel comfortable enough to buy any of those books. Severus briefly entertained the thought that he could buy one of those books for Harry and surprise him, but then he remembered that he didn't care.

And when the hell had he started referring to Potter as "Harry"?

"I'm ready to go when you are," said Harry.

"We can leave now," said Severus, still confused about the sudden name switch.

The two wandered out of the store and down the street. Harry didn't really feel like going into the joke shop, as it would be betraying the twins. He entertained the thought of going into Honeydukes, but the look on Alan's face when Harry suggested it, aside from making Harry laugh, told Harry that the other boy had no desire to search for sweets.

The two walked for a little while more before it began to rain.

"Great," muttered Harry as the first drop hit him square between the eyes. Blinking, he looked around for the nearest shop: Madame Puddifoot's.

"Do you want to get a coffee or something while we wait for the rain to stop?" asked Harry.

Hating the rain and not wanting to walk back in it, Severus nodded in agreement.

The two walked into the shop. Harry was vaguely reminded of the last time he had been in here with Cho. That date hadn't turned out very well. Harry hoped this one would turn out better.

_Did I just think of this as a date? _wondered Harry_. Dear Gods, what's wrong with me? I wonder what Alan would think if he heard me say that. _

The shop was much emptier than the last time Harry was in there. This time, there were no couples around holding hands or snogging to make Harry feel uncomfortable. The tacky Umbridge-reminiscent decorations were still up, but Harry figured he could deal with those.

Harry and Alan sat down at an empty table and waited for the waitress to wander over to them.

"What can get you two today?" she asked in a tired voice.

"Just a regular coffee for me, thanks," said Harry.

"I'll have the same," answered Alan.

The waitress nodded and walked away, leaving Harry and Alan in silence.

"These are terrible decorations," commented Severus, deciding that sitting there in silence was not the best way to spend an afternoon.

"I agree," said Harry. "They remind me of Umbridge's office."

Severus was about to agree when he remembered that he was a new student and, therefore, wouldn't know who Umbridge was.

"Who?"

"Oh, I forgot that you didn't have her," said Harry. "She was DADA teacher a couple years ago, if you can even call her that. I mean, we didn't learn a thing from her. All she wanted us to do was learn theories. And she told everyone that I was a crazy, attention-seeking lunatic," said Harry.

_I've told everyone that you were a lot worse, _thought Severus.

"Why did she only let you learn theories?" asked Severus, even though he already knew the answer.

"She was afraid that Dumbledore was trying to get us to fight the Ministry," scoffed Harry. "Like the man doesn't have enough to worry about without the Ministry added on top of it."

_You add to it, too, _thought Severus, but he wisely said nothing.

Just then the waitress arrived with their coffees.

"Thank you," said Harry. Severus merely nodded.

Harry reached for the sugar bowl and added a little bit to his coffee. Then he added a bit of cream and stirred them. Severus watched with a slight curl of his lip.

"You would be one to put all that abysmal confection into your otherwise perfect drink, wouldn't you?"

Harry looked up from his cup, a look of mock indignation on his face.

"I'll have you know that I don't put half as much sugar and cream in as most of my friends do! And besides," he added, taking a sip of his coffee and looking at Alan's with mild disdain, "it's disgusting with nothing in it."

"Well, then it's a good thing no one's asking you to drink it, then isn't it?"

"You started it!" cried Harry.

"You are so immature," said Severus, sipping his coffee and trying to deny to himself that he was enjoying this conversation.

Harry laughed and drank some more of his coffee. He was about to say something when two people walked up to him.

"Hey, Harry," said Dean, completely ignoring Alan. "We thought you might like to come to Honeyduke's with us."

"Thanks for the offer," said Harry coolly, frowning at Dean and Seamus, "but as you can see, I'm with someone."

"Oh, he doesn't count!" argued Seamus. "He never says anything, and when he does he's being mean."

"I am sitting right here," pointed out Severus, not really caring what the other two thought of him but interested in hearing what Harry had to say.

"That's funny," snapped Harry, "but before the two of you showed up, we were having a rather amusing conversation."

"Fine," retorted Seamus. "Have fun with this asshole all by yourself. We were just trying to be nice."

"I'd hate to see what you looked like trying to be mean, then," glared Harry.

Seamus and Dean walked off. Dean alone looked apologetic.

"Ignore them," Harry told Alan. "They don't matter anyway."

"Do you really believe that their opinion of me matters much?" asked Severus, surprised and slightly pleased to hear Harry defending him in such a way.

"I guess not," answered Harry.

The two of them finished their coffee in silence.

"It's stopped raining," said Harry, swallowing the last bit of his drink. "Do you want to head back toward the castle, or was there something else that you wanted to look at while we're here?"

"We can head back," answered Severus, reaching into his pocket. "Just let me pay for the coffee, and we'll be ready."

"Don't be ridiculous," said Harry, pushing Alan's hand away and reaching for his own moneybag. "I'll get them."

"I wasn't going to buy yours," said Severus. "When I said 'let me pay for the coffee,' I meant mine."

"I know," grinned Harry, pulling out a galleon and leaving it on the table, "but this way's easier."

Severus was about to argue, but Harry was already turning and walking out of the room. Shrugging, Severus turned and followed Harry out of the shop. They were about halfway back to the castle when they heard a voice behind them.

"Well, well, well," drawled Malfoy. "Where's your entourage, Potty?"

"Bugger off, Malfoy," mumbled Harry, walking forward. Malfoy stepped in front of him, blocking his way. Severus watched in silence, waiting to see what would happen.

"I'm continually surprised to hear that the famous Boy-Who-Lived can manage to go anywhere without the Weasel and Mudblood accompanying him," continued Malfoy.

"And I'm continually surprised to hear Slytherins praised for their cutting remarks and intelligence when they've been relying on the same insult for over a thousand years," retorted Harry. Smiling brightly in Malfoy's livid face, Harry turned and walked back to the castle.

Malfoy was furious. Drawing out his wand and aiming it toward Harry, Malfoy cried, "Petrifucus Totalus!"

Before Severus could even blink, Harry had whipped around and screamed, "Protego!"

Harry's spell was so strong that Malfoy's bounced off of it, effectively knocking Malfoy to the ground.

Harry lowered his wand and walked toward Malfoy, who was on the ground, unable to move.

"You know," said Harry, "for someone whose dad is a Death Eater, that was really pathetic."

With that, Harry tuned and walked back to the castle.

Severus was mildly impressed. Harry had not only come up with a decent insult, but also only used his wand to defend himself. Plus, Harry had had the perfect opportunity to curse Malfoy while the blonde was on the ground, but hadn't. All of his previous understandings of Potter were being torn down, and the new image of Harry was taking its place.

As Severus followed Harry up to the castle, he knew once and for all that Harry Potter was not his father, nor had he ever been. In fact, Harry Potter was somewhat…pleasant, likable, even.

And that thought, more than anything else, scared the shit out of Severus.


	7. Growing Attraction

**Title: **One Stupid Person

**Author: **quixotic-hope (harrysev)

**Beta:** Amanda Saitou

**Pairing: **Harry/Severus

**Rating: **R

**Genres: **Romance, Angst, Fluff, First time

**Warnings: **slight-AU (ignoring HBP)

**Spoilers: **1-5

**Summary: **Having lost his value as a spy for the light, Severus must now take a Death Eater-aging potion and befriend the dratted Boy-Who-Lived. But what happens when he starts falling in love?

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter and Co. belong to the wonderfully talented JK Rowling. I mean no harm by using her characters in this story. I am making no money whatsoever; I merely hope to entertain people.

**Chapter 7: Growing Attraction**

Ron and Hermione were spending more and more time alone together, leaving Harry with no one besides Alan to talk to. Not that he minded, anymore, though. No, after the first fight they had had, Harry had learned to enjoy spending more time with Alan than with Ron and Hermione. The other boy was smart, of that Harry had no doubt. He also had an incredible sense of humor, even if it wasn't the laugh-out-loud sort of funny that most people in Gryffindor appreciated. Alan's humor was much more subtle, but that's what made Harry appreciate it even more.

Mainly, Alan reminded Harry of Severus Snape. Not that he would ever tell the other boy so. Alan might not know Snape, but Harry had a feeling that Alan wouldn't like being compared to the professor that practically the entire school despised. Then again, reasoned Harry, Alan wasn't the sort of person to care what others thought of him. That was yet another part of him that reminded Harry of Snape.

Harry sighed. He really should stop thinking of Alan as Snape. He already knew that he was attracted to Alan, and comparing Alan to the man he loved wasn't going to do either of them any good. Harry thought about the promise he had made to himself that summer: he would forget about Snape and find someone who could love him.

But was Alan that person? Yes, everything that Harry loved about Snape was evident in Alan, but did that mean anything? Was Alan even gay? Somehow, Harry doubted it. Being gay wasn't something that was celebrated, and he had the feeling that Alan wasn't as abnormal as he was.

Harry sighed and returned his gaze to the window. It was November now, and most of the leaves had already fallen off the trees. He had known Alan for three months. That wasn't nearly enough time to begin to fall in love with someone, was it? But he felt like he had known Alan for so much longer. Did that count for something?

Confused, Harry shook his head and walked away from the window.

xxx

Severus Snape was confused, something he did not like feeling in the least. More annoying was the fact that he was confused about Harry. Potter! Damn it, the boy's name was Potter. Severus sighed. It was no use. He was starting to develop feelings for the Boy Who Lived.

He didn't know when it started or why it happened. He had a feeling it started that night when he watched Harry teach Creevey how to summon a book. The look on Harry's face when the boy finally managed to summon a book from up in the dorms to the common room was something Severus would never forget. Harry had been proud of Creevey. He hadn't taken any responsibility for the younger student's sudden ability, just said that all Creevey had needed was a little encouragement.

James Potter would have accepted full responsibility for the boy's achievements if he were in Harry's place. Well, he would have if he was the sort of person to help others out. But James Potter would never waste his time helping younger students learn. He would simply laugh at them for not being as clever as he was and go on his way.

Harry was different. If he knew how to do something that someone else didn't, he would drop everything to help the less-fortunate student. Harry always made sure not to make the other student feel bad about not knowing how to do something. He was patient and kind: a natural teacher. Severus had never had that much patience.

But that wasn't all. Harry also had an incredible sense of humor. He appreciated Severus's jokes like no one else did. Loathe as he was to admit it, Severus loved the way Harry's eyes sparkled when Severus said something he found funny. He loved the way Harry spent all of his time with Severus when he could have been hanging out with any of his other Gryffindor friends.

Severus was slightly afraid. He had never cared about anyone before, and he knew that this infatuation with Harry would not end well. For starters, Severus knew that no matter what happened, Harry would never return his feelings. Harry would hate him when he realized that Alan Rickman was really Severus Snape. Even if the boy did seem to respect him—Severus—that didn't mean that he wished to be friends with the greasy Potions master.

That certainly didn't mean that he wished to be _more than friends_ with his greasy Potions master. The boy probably wasn't even gay. After all, the boy merely looked at a few books. That didn't necessarily classify him as gay. And even if he was, he wouldn't want anything to do with Severus.

Unfortunately for Severus, he wasn't the only one who had started to notice his growing infatuation with the boy wonder. Every month Severus dragged himself up to the Headmaster's rooms to give an update on how things were going with Harry. Every visit Severus insisted that he still didn't know what was wrong with Harry, and every visit Albus insisted that Severus would find out sooner or later.

Over the past month, Severus became aware of Dumbledore's twinkling gaze following him everywhere. That look made Severus feel slightly ill.

"Severus! So good to see you, my boy," greeted the Headmaster as Severus sat down for his monthly meeting. "Lemon drop?"

"Albus, simply because you decreased my age does not mean that I am any more likely to enjoy those repulsive sweets of yours."

"Of course not," agreed Albus, popping said sweet into his mouth. "I was merely being polite."

"Of course you were," nodded Severus. "And before you ask: no, I do not know what is bothering H-Potter." Severus mentally cursed himself for slipping up on the boy's name.

Albus's lips twitched when he heard Severus' slip up. Things were progressing nicely, then. Now all Severus needed was a little nudge in the right direction.

"Did you know that nothing in the rulebook states that student-teacher relationships are illegal?"

Okay, so maybe Severus needed a little more than a nudge. Maybe a shove.

Severus lowered the tea he had been about to sip and gave the Headmaster a calculating look. He was right, then. Albus did know of his feelings for the boy. Damn it.

"Please, don't tell me that you're starting that 'Random Fact of the Day' thing again," groaned Severus, not willing to admit defeat. "You have my word that if I am ever in dire need of completely useless information you will be the first person I contact."

This time Albus laughed out loud.

"As pleased as I am to hear that, that wasn't what I had in mind."

"Wasn't it?" asked Severus, determined to keep his feelings to himself.

"No, it wasn't. I've noticed the looks that you've been giving young Harry—"

"Albus," interrupted Severus, half angry and half apprehensive.

"—And I just wanted to make sure you knew that there is nothing wrong with student-teacher relationships," continued Albus as though Severus hadn't said a word.

"Albus," tried Severus again, this time with more of a warning in his voice.

"Particularly when neither one of them is a teacher," added Albus thoughtfully as he unstuck two lemon drops, still ignoring Severus.

"Albus!"

That time Albus turned his full attention onto the man before him. He saw the anger in the other's eyes and knew that that anger was covering so many more emotions. Deciding that he had tortured the poor man enough for one day, Albus inclined his head.

"It's getting late. You should get back."

Severus nodded and stood up.

"Good evening, Albus."

"Good evening, Severus."

Albus waited until Severus was practically out the door before adding, "You best hurry. I expect Harry will be wanting to know where you went."

Albus dodged the tea cup that was aimed at his head.

**A/N: Yes, I know Albus could very well have used magic to dodge the cup, but I felt his actually moving would be more amusing. Hope you all liked this chapter! **


	8. Out of the Closet and Into His Arms

**Title: **One Stupid Person

**Author: **quixotic-hope (harrysev)

**Beta:** Amanda Saitou

**Pairing: **Harry/Severus

**Rating: **R

**Genres: **Romance, Angst, Fluff, First time

**Warnings: **slight-AU (ignoring HBP)

**Spoilers: **1-5

**Summary: **Having lost his value as a spy for the light, Severus must now take a Death Eater-aging potion and befriend the dratted Boy-Who-Lived. But what happens when he starts falling in love?

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter and Co. belong to the wonderfully talented JK Rowling. I mean no harm by using her characters in this story. I am making no money whatsoever; I merely hope to entertain people.

**Note: **This chapter takes place in December. Sorry if you all think this is moving too fast, but I don't know how else to write it.

**Chapter 8: Out of the closet and into his arms**

Harry paced nervously in front of the fireplace. This was the day he was finally going to tell his best friends that he was gay. Harry took a deep breath.

_What if they hate me? _wondered Harry_. What if they never speak to me again? What if they tell everybody, and then everybody else hates me, too? And then Alan will hate me as well, and I will be all alone. _

Harry's thoughts weren't leading him in a very positive direction. Harry took a quick glance over at Alan, who was reading over in a nearby corner. Harry wanted to come out to Alan as well, but with his growing feelings for the boy, Harry didn't want to scare him off just yet. Besides, Ron and Hermione had been his best friends for seven years; they deserved to be the first ones to know the truth, even if he was closer to Alan than Ron and Hermione.

Harry started when he heard someone enter the Common Room. He looked up and saw Ron and Hermione walk over to him. Harry took a deep breath. This was it.

"Ron? Hermione? Can I talk to you guys for a minute?" he asked in a voice that was much quieter than usual.

Ron and Hermione exchanged quick glances before Hermione said, "Sure. What can we do for you?"

"Just sit down for a minute. I have to tell you two something."

Their curiosity was enough to make them sit down, particularly when they saw the anxious look on Harry's face. What could have happened?

Hermione's thoughts immediately flew back to the train ride on the first day back when Harry had defended Snape. Ron's head was completely void of ideas.

"What is it?" asked Hermione in her gentlest voice.

"I-I don't know how to tell you this," said Harry. "I've been meaning to tell you guys for a while, but…"

"What is it?" Hermione prodded again once Harry had trailed off.

"I'm…well, you see…I'm gay." Harry mumbled the last part, the real confession, under his breath.

"What?" asked Ron.

"I'm gay," Harry repeated a little louder this time, his eyes looking anywhere other than Ron and Hermione.

There was silence. Then—

"That's sick," said Ron, his face morphing into a look of complete disgust.

"Ron—" Harry started, looking up from his hands.

"Stay away from me, you freak!" yelled Ron, causing a good portion of the common room's occupants to turn and look at them.

"You're disgusting," sneered Ron. He then turned to leave.

Harry's eyes filled with tears. Yes, he should have known that Ron would react like this. You couldn't blame a guy for hoping, though.

"I'll talk to him," said Hermione gently. She saw tears in Harry's eyes, and she felt horrible. "It'll be okay, Harry."

With that, she turned and walked away to find Ron.

Harry stood in the middle of the common room, tears streaming down his face. Feeling everyone's eyes on him, Harry turned and ran out of the room.

xxx

Severus sighed. He had several mixed feelings right now. On the one hand, he was surprised to hear that Harry (Potter!) was gay. On the other hand, he really should have known it when Harry looked at that sexuality book. While Severus was slightly happy to hear Harry admit to being gay, he was sad to see Harry in so much pain.

Severus wanted to curse Weasley to the ninth circle of hell where he would take his place next to Judas Iscariot and be chewed up by Satan(1).

Severus saw Granger take off after Weasley and was once again fighting conflicting emotions. While he was angry at Granger for leaving Harry alone when he obviously needed support, he was pleased that maybe now he would have a chance to comfort Harry.

Wait a moment…when the hell did Severus start comforting people? He didn't know how to comfort anyone. Damn. Sighing again, Severus saw Harry flee the common room and knew he had to do something. Banishing his book up to his dorm, Severus got up and followed Harry out of the common room.

xxx

Harry ignored everyone around him as he fled the common room and ran to the lake. Once he reached his destination, he flung himself behind a tree and sobbed.

He should have known this would happen. Of course Ron would hate him. Why wouldn't he? After all, the Boy-Who-Lived was supposed to be normal. He was supposed to set a good example. He was supposed to like girls.

Harry felt someone sit down next to him and looked up. It was Alan. Shit. Harry turned around and buried his face in his hands.

xxx

Severus saw Harry collapse behind a tree and hurried over to him. Severus could see the pain Harry was in, and he felt his chest tighten in spite of himself. He knew what it was like to feel ashamed, to feel alone, and he hated that Harry knew what it felt like as well.

Severus sat down next to Harry. He saw the shame in Harry's eyes before he hid his face, and Severus knew he had to do something.

"Harry, I—"

"You heard, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did," answered Severus softly, hating the misery he heard in Harry's voice.

Harry wiped his eyes and looked at Severus.

"Then what are you doing here?" Harry asked dejectedly. "I'm a freak. You should go hang out with someone else."

He didn't know why he did it. After years of self-control, years of denying that he even had a heart, Severus found he was unable to sit there and watch Harry fold into himself. He had to do something.

Reaching out, Severus brushed his fingers across Harry's cheek. He saw the other boy look up, shocked. Seeing no disgust, however, Severus continued. Leaning forward, Severus pressed his lips to Harry's. He heard Harry's gasp and pulled back a little.

"Harry," Severus tried again, and this time Harry didn't interrupt him. "You're not a freak."

xxx

Harry was too amazed to speak. Alan had kissed him! He didn't think Harry was a freak. Wait a minute, did this mean Alan was gay, too? Realizing that Alan had just kissed him, Harry felt it was safe to assume that Alan was indeed gay, or at least bi.

Biting his lip, Harry looked into Alan's eyes, searching for any sign that the older boy was playing a cruel joke on him. Seeing only sincerity and concern in those eyes, Harry smiled shyly before leaning forward and gently kissing Alan.

xxx

As he felt Harry's lips against his own for the second time, Severus knew he had done something bad.

He had fallen in love with Harry Potter.

He had kissed Harry Potter.

Harry Potter thought he was Alan Rickman.

Harry was never going to forgive him.

(1) From _Dante's Inferno_, very amusing book, that is.


	9. Christmas

Title: One Stupid Person

Author: quixotic-hope (harrysev)  
Rating: M (just in case)  
Pairing: Harry/Sev Genres: Romance, Angst, Fluff, First time

Warnings: slight-AU (ignoring HBP)  
Spoilers: 1-5

Betas: Molvanian name) and twisty3456(livejournal name)

Summary: Having lost his value as a spy for the light, Severus must now take a de-aging potion and befriend the dratted Boy-Who-Lived. But what happens when he starts falling in love?

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to the wonderfully talented JK Rowling. I mean no harm by using her characters in this story. I am making no money whatsoever; I merely hope to entertain people.

Author's Apology:

I am SO SORRY for the long delay in getting this story updated. Let me explain:  
I last updated April 3. From April to June, I suffered a terrible case of writer's block.  
In June I got a job that forced me to spend hours sitting outside with nothing to do but sign people into a pool. I started bringing paper to work so I could write. I ended up finishing the rest of the story at by the end of June. I got three new betas. One never emailed me back. One emailed me back this chapter. One emailed me back the entire story (Neat, you are the best ever!). I spent July trying to edit the story and make it sound perfect (didn't work). In August, my computer broke down, and I lost everything. Every story I had written, the rest of the chapters of this story,  
all gone. Thankfully, I still had Molvanian Queen-In-Exile's edits on my email, so the chapters were not lost forever.  
Sadly, I couldn't update until I got a new computer, which I didn't get until yesterday. Our computer does not have Word (yet), so I have to use Notepad, which isn't nearly as good. Therefore, if the format is fucked up...sorry. I'll try to fix it.

Chapter 9: Christmas

Harry and Alan were the only Gryffindors staying at Hogwarts for Christmas. For a while Ron had been worried that he would be too ill to go home. He had been stuck at the hospital wing with a stomach ache for over a week, and Madame Pomfrey hadn't been able to discover anything wrong with him. Harry had a nagging suspicion that Alan was behind Ron's sudden illness. After all, every time Alan returned from delivering a batch of potions to Madame Pomfrey (who seemed to trust this student to help her rather than Professor Ingram), Ron seemed to get worse.

Hermione told Harry that, while she personally didn't have a problem with Harry's sexuality, she could no longer speak to him. She said she'd try to talk some sense into Ron, but she didn't think he'd come around. Hurt and angry, Harry told her he didn't care what Ron thought and that if the two of them wanted to walk around like homophobic bigots, who was he to stop them? Besides, on some level (perhaps thanks to his time spent with Alan), he knew he'd be better off without their 'input' anyway.

Pushing all thoughts of Ron and Hermione from his head, Harry tried to focus on the task at hand: finding a Christmas present for Alan. The two of them had been dating for a few weeks, but he still wanted to get the other boy something special.

Harry tried to think of what Alan liked. He wasn't a fan of Quidditch; he liked to read, but he seemed to have quite a large collection of books already, at least if all his talks of his library at his uncle's was to be believed. He was really good at Potions, but he seemed to have anything he could possibly need already.

Harry sighed. It was pointless. What sort of person was he that he couldn't even think of anything to get his boyfriend?

xxx

Little did Harry know that his boyfriend was having the same thoughts halfway across town. Severus normally wasn't one to go all out for Christmas. In fact, it was quite well known that Severus hated the holiday. However, this was the first (he refused to think that it might be the "only") Christmas he would spend with Harry, and he knew the Gryffindor liked this holiday. Therefore, he wanted to make sure that he got the perfect gift.

Severus was about to call it a day when he passed the bookstore he and Harry had visited on their first trip to Hogwarts. An almost-invisible smile graced his lips as he remembered his suspicions as to Harry's sexuality, having spied on the boy not-so-subtly perusing the homo-erotic literature.(1)

Suddenly Severus knew what he would get Harry. He knew Harry would never feel comfortable buying the books himself, so he would buy them instead, as he wasn't at all nervous about buying them. Besides, even if the store attendant believed that homosexuality was wrong and disgusting, Severus would be himself again in a few months, and would take pleasure in frightening the wits out of anyone that crossed his –and Harry's- paths.

Walking into the bookstore, Severus looked for the gay and lesbian section. Finding it quickly, he began to search for the perfect book. Better make it 'books' plural, he thought, so that Harry might have a few to choose from.

Severus spent at least half an hour in the bookstore looking through titles. He finally settled on Laura Argiri's The God in Flight, Michael Cunningham's A Home at the End of the World, and Lynn Flewelling's Nightrunner series. (2) Pleased with his selection, he paid the man at the counter and made his way back to Hogwarts.

He really hoped Harry liked his gift.

xxx

Harry wasn't having anywhere near as much luck as Severus when it came to finding the perfect gift. In the three hours he'd been in Hogsmeade, he'd walked through most of the shops in town, and he still couldn't find anything to get Alan. Sighing, Harry glanced around, as though expecting a sign, only to have his gaze land on the very cause of his frustrations. Not wanting the other boy to realize that he still hadn't found anything, Harry ran into the nearest shop.

Looking around, Harry realized he had walked into the Magical Menagerie. Deciding to wait there until Alan passed, Harry started browsing the store, admiring the different animals.

Walking past the rat cage and trying to fight his desire to strangle each one of them, Harry moved on to look at owls. He had always had a liking for the beautiful birds. One owl in particular caught his eye. She was almost all black with a few gray feathers mixed in, and her vivid yellow eyes contrasted nicely with the dark feathers. Harry slowly raised a hand to touch her. The owl hooted but didn't move away.

"You like her?" asked the man who ran the shop.

Harry nodded. "She's beautiful."

"That she is," agreed the man. "Twenty-five galleons."

"Oh, I wasn't going to—" Harry stopped. He hadn't planned on buying the bird, but then he thought about Alan. The other boy didn't have an owl of his own; of that Harry was certain. And this bird was beautiful, no doubt about it. Would she make a good Christmas gift, though?

"Is there any way I could pay for her now, but wait a week or so to pick her up?"

"Christmas present?" asked the man, smiling.

"Yeah," nodded Harry. "I think she'd make a good gift, but I don't know what to do with her until then."

"We can hold her here until Christmas," the man informed him. "Just let us know where you want her to be Christmas morning, and she'll be waiting."

"That'd be great," Harry responded enthusiastically, pulling out his coin-purse. "If you could just have her waiting in the Hogwarts Owlery, I'd really appreciate it."

"Sure thing," the shop attendant nodded, accepting Harry's money.

"Have a good day," said Harry, leaving the store.

He really hoped Alan liked his gift.

xxx

Both Harry and Severus were extremely nervous come Christmas morning. Neither had ever put so much thought into one gift, and neither had ever wanted the receiver to like the gift as much as they did right now.

"Good morning," said Severus as he awoke and saw that Harry was already up.

"Good morning," Harry reciprocated, watching the other boy get out of bed.

There was a somewhat awkward silence. Severus broke it.

"I got you a gift."

"I got you one, too, but it's not here right now," said Harry, suddenly remembering the owl. "I'll be right back."

"You don't have to—" Severus began in vain, but Harry was already out the door.

xxx

Harry was halfway to the Owlery when he realized that he was still in his pajamas. Thankfully, not many people wandered the hallways on Christmas morning. When he reached his destination, the black owl was perched on a branch. She hooted when she saw Harry. Harry walked over and held out his arm for her to climb onto. Seeing Hedwig eyeing the new owl suspiciously, Harry walked over to his own owl and gently stroked her feathers.

"Don't worry, girl," he soothed. "She's a gift for Alan."

Hedwig nipped Harry's fingers in what he hoped was a gesture of acceptance. Giving Hedwig one final pat, Harry made his way back to the dormitory. Once there, he realized that he had no idea what to do with the owl. He couldn't wrap her, but what was he supposed to do with her? He couldn't hold out his arm and say "Surprise!" Could he?

Knowing that he had to do something, Harry opened the door and peeked inside. Alan looked up from his position on the bed when he heard the door open. A box lay on the bed beside him.

"Close your eyes," ordered Harry. He saw Alan raise his eyebrows and frowned. "Just do it," he half-ordered, half-begged.

xxx

Hearing the desperation in Harry's voice, Severus gave in and complied with his boyfriend's strange demand. He heard Harry shuffle into the room and fought the urge to open his eyes, even when he felt the other boy standing directly in front of him.

"Okay, you can open them," said Harry.

The first thing Severus noticed when he opened his eyes was that he was face-to-face with the most beautiful owl he had ever seen.

The second thing he noticed was that Harry looked incredibly nervous. He was biting his lower lip and shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Smiling in spite of himself at Harry's nervousness, Severus met Harry's eyes and sincerely said, "Thank you."

"Is she all right?" Harry asked. "I didn't know what to get you, and she was a really beautiful bird. Plus, I know you don't have one, and I figured this would make it easier for you to communicate with your uncle if you have to. You know, in case you need something from him or something. Besides, birds are really very—"

Severus shut him up with a kiss. Harry calmed down a bit. When he opened his eyes, he blushed.

"Sorry, I just wasn't sure if you'd like your gift."

"I love it," Severus informed him, stroking the bird to reiterate the sentiment. The owl nipped his fingers gently. Getting up, Severus opened the window and let the bird fly out. "I'll let her get comfortable in the Owlery. We can visit her later."

xxx

Harry nodded as he sat down on the end of his bed. Alan walked over to him and handed him his present. It was rather heavy. Taking his time, Harry opened the box.

"So you finally believe that I know how to read?" Harry asked, smiling as he looked over the books. He read the summaries and gasped.

"You shouldn't have…" muttered Harry breathlessly.

"I wanted to," countered Alan, seeing the shock and uncertainty in Harry's eyes. "Actually, I have a confession to make."

Harry looked up expectantly.

"That day you and I went to Hogsmeade, I watched you in the store. I wanted to see what you looked at when I wasn't looking. I was surprised to see you go into the homo-erotic section of the store, but I initially believed that you were just..." he searched for the right word, "curious.

"After you came out to your friends, I knew for a fact that you were indeed gay. But I also knew that you weren't comfortable enough yet to buy these books yourself. I don't know if you'll like them. I bought you ones that sounded interesting."

"I love them," said Harry sincerely, looking up at Alan. He lay the box down gently, got up, and wrapped his arms around Alan's neck. "Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome," the other boy beamed as he leaned down to kiss Harry, pleased that the young man liked his gift so much.

xxx

"I'm glad," said Severus, pulling away. As much as he loved holding Harry, he didn't want to get too used to it. He felt guilty for betraying Harry's trust. Pushing those thoughts from his mind, Severus suggested they go down to breakfast.

"Sounds good to me," agreed Harry. "But, this time, I'm going to change before I leave the dormitory."

xxx

Harry and Severus spent all day together. After breakfast, they headed up to the Owlery to visit Hedwig and the newly named Sauda (3). They walked around the castle for a while, admiring the snow-covered grounds, enjoying each others' company. Afterwards, the two changed into dry clothes and curled up in front of the fire.

xxx

Harry was confused. He knew that most guys his age were only concerned with sleeping with people. He also knew that he really liked Alan. Was Alan expecting something from him? He hadn't mentioned anything to Harry, but maybe he was. They had only been dating for about a month, but they had been friends for months before that. A lot of the guys he knew were upset if they had been dating someone for a couple weeks without "getting any." What if Alan was getting upset that he and Harry had only gone so far as kissing?

Making up his mind, Harry decided that he would show Alan that he was interested in moving things forward. Maybe they didn't even have to have sex. Maybe they could just…touch each other or something. Harry sighed. He didn't even know what to do. What if Alan laughed at him? What would he do?

Sighing and trying his best to remove all thoughts of doubt from his head, Harry leaned up and kissed Alan. The older boy immediately kissed back. Usually the two would kiss for a while, then Harry would relax into Alan and the two would stay in a comfortable position for a while before heading in.

Tonight, however, Harry didn't relax into Alan. Instead, he kept kissing and started trying to unbutton Alan's shirt.

xxx

Severus enjoyed kissing Harry, but when he felt Harry's hands start to unbutton his shirt, he knew things had to stop. As much as he wanted to have sex with Harry, he knew that Harry was a virgin. He didn't want Harry to regret his first time once he realized that Alan was really Severus, and he knew that he had to stop. He immediately drew back and stilled Harry's hands.

"What are you doing?"

xxx

Harry panicked when Alan tried to stop him. Alan didn't want to have sex with him? Maybe he just wanted to make sure that Harry wanted it, too. That had to be it.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" asked Harry, trying to sound sexy but ending up sounding scared.

"Harry, as much as I would love to continue," said Alan, trying to sound reassuring as he turned Harry down, "I don't think we should do this right now."

"Right," said Harry, getting as far away from Alan as he could and still remain on the couch.

"It's not that I don't want to," the other boy continued, trying to make sure Harry understood. "I just want to take things slowly, that's all."

Harry nodded. 'Take things slowly.' Right. Alan was just trying to make him feel better. He didn't want Harry that way; it was as simple as that. Harry felt tears start to prickle his eyes, and he immediately looked away so Alan wouldn't see them.

"I understand," mumbled Harry, feeling utterly humiliated. "You know, I'm kind of tired. I think I'll go to bed. I'll…I'll see you in the morning. Happy Christmas."

xxx

Severus sighed. Harry clearly didn't believe his excuse, but what more could he have said? He noticed the tears in Harry's eyes, but he knew that acknowledging them only would have made Harry feel worse. He wished Harry a happy Christmas as he watched the boy walk up to the dorm. Looking into the fire, Severus raked a hand through his hair. This was getting complicated – fast.

What was he going to do about Harry?

(1) Thanks, Neat, for the suggestion. I love it!  
(2)A quick summary of the books Severus bought (yes, they really do exist:  
"God in Flight" is about a student who falls in love with his teacher. Simion and Dori remind me so much of Harry and Sev sometimes. It has a lot of big words, but it's not a bad book.  
"A Home at the End of the World" is about a gay guy, his female roommate, and his childhood friend. It was such a good book that it was made into a movie with Colin Ferrell (sp?) as the childhood friend.  
"The Nightrunner" series I haven't read but it was metioned in redrum's "Animula," so I looked it up. It sounded vaguely interesting (though clearly not enough for me to go and buy it). (3) Sauda-Swahili for "Dark Beauty." Thanks to twisty3456 for suggesting this.

Note: Thanks to everyone who's stuck with me this far. I'm going to try to get as much of the story posted tonight as I can, but I still have other (school-related) stuff that I have to do. I promise that I'll update soon, though. Please review and tell me what you think!


	10. New Year's Eve

Title: One Stupid Person

Author: quixotic-hope

Rating: M (just to make sure, but it's more like T)

Pairing: Harry/Sev (of course)  
Genres: Romance, angst, fluff

Beta: Molvanian Queen-In-Exile

Summary: Sev de-ages himself to spy on Harry and ends up falling in love with him instead.

Author's Note: My computer is still really slow, and it still does not have Word. Also, I should be reading "Crime and Punishment" but have chosen to spend my free time updating instead. You should all be proud of me. Just kidding.

And I know I said I'd update yesterday, but for some reason I could not get fanfiction to work. I was halfway through responding to the reviews when my computer freaked out. Sorry!

Chapter 10: New Year's Eve

Despite Harry's assurance that he understood why he had been turned down, Severus could tell that Harry didn't really believe him. Harry's smile never seemed to reach his eyes, and it was more than obvious (to anyone who cared to notice) that Harry was doubting Alan's interest in him. Therefore, Severus wanted to do something special for Harry, something that would prove to him that Severus (or, rather, 'Alan') really did care about him.

On New Year's Eve, Severus persuaded (not that it took much effort) Harry to accompany him to the top of the Astronomy Tower. They would have been alone had they remained in Gryffindor Tower as well, but Severus felt it would be more amusing (he refused to think "romantic") for the two of them to sneak up to the roof.

Harry agreed, and, at half past eleven, the two were under Harry's invisibility cloak on their way to the tower. Severus dimly noted the irony of his having spent so much time as a teacher trying to prevent Harry from doing the very thing he had just persuaded the boy to do.

Well, maybe not the very thing, amended Severus. After all, he had a feeling Harry didn't sneak off to the roof with boys too often. Of course, there was that time in the trio's first year with Miss Granger…

Shaking his head, Severus focused on Harry, who was currently leaning against the railing, looking out over the grounds.

"It's beautiful," commented Harry.

Determined not to allow himself to become too cliché, Severus agreed while looking anywhere but Harry.

The two stood in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Severus spoke.

"When I was little, my mother used to let me stay up late this one night of the year. It was such a big deal at that age. I'd always fall asleep before midnight," Severus recalled, thinking back on his one happy memory of his childhood. "My mother would always wake me up in time for the countdown, though. And every year, at the stroke of midnight, she would let me have a sip of scotch."

Severus didn't add that it had been that single sip once a year as a child that had made him dependent on that particular drink during his holidays as an adult, when the loneliness became unbearable. He also refrained from mentioning that this was the first year since he was five that he hadn't had any scotch. And yet, somehow, being here with Harry, he found that he didn't need any.

xxx

Remembering that Alan's parents had died, Harry felt pleased that Alan felt comfortable enough to share this with him. However, now Harry knew it was his turn to tell a New Year's story, and he didn't have any. The only childhood tradition he had was lying in the cupboard under the stairs, listening while the Dursleys laughed and had fun. But he couldn't tell Alan that, could he?

xxx

Severus knew that Harry was trying to decide whether to open up or not, so he decided to help out.

"What did you do for New Year's?" he asked bluntly.

xxx

Now that Alan had asked, Harry felt he couldn't lie.

"I never did anything for New Year's," Harry responded truthfully. He was going to leave it at that, but something in Alan's eyes made him continue. "The Dursleys—my aunt, uncle, and cousin—always stayed up. They'd buy a lot of food and have a little party for themselves. Sometimes a few of Dudley's friends would come over. A couple of times Uncle Vernon would invite some of the neighbours over, but that was only when he had remodeled a room or bought something new that he wanted to show off."

Alan narrowed his eyes, not liking the omission of Harry's own whereabouts in the story. "And where were you during these parties?"

"I was in my room," said Harry, not mentioning that his "room" was the cupboard under the stairs. "They didn't like having me around," he added unnecessarily.

xxx

Severus was once again surprised. He had heard that the boy's relatives had disliked him, but he hadn't completely believed it until hearing the admission from Harry himself.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely, even though he knew it wouldn't help. Harry shrugged it off. "If it's any consolation, I know a few people who could have them killed."

xxx

Harry burst out laughing at the serious way in which Alan had suggested having his relatives murdered.

"Seriously," added Alan. "Seven galleons a person, and they're all dead."

Harry continued to laugh. "Thanks," he said, "but I don't think Dumbledore would appreciate that much."

xxx

"No, I don't suppose he would," agreed Severus, pleased to see Harry happy again. He wanted to know more about Harry's life with the Dursleys, but he didn't want to bring up any more bad memories. He knew from experience that talking would only reopen old wounds. Besides, if he got Harry to talk about his childhood, Severus would feel obligated to talk about his, which was something that he most certainly did not want to do.

"Which do you like better," asked Harry suddenly, "England or France?"

Severus was about to ask how Harry knew he had been to France when he remembered that that was what Dumbledore had told everybody. He thought for a moment before deciding on, "France."

"Why?"

"Because the people there—"

"Are far less inclined to stick their noses in other people's business," cut in Harry, remembering their first conversation on the train.

"Actually, I was going to say that the people there are much more civilized and cultured," said Severus. "But, I suppose your answer works, as well."

"Oh." Harry didn't know what else to say. He thought a moment. "I'm in England," he pointed out.

"Yes," agreed Severus, "all the more reason for me to like France better."

Harry hit him playfully on the arm and pretended to be offended. Then they both laughed.

By the time they got around to looking at Harry's watch, it was long past midnight. They had missed the countdown, and yet they both felt that they had gained a whole lot more.

A/N:  
Yes, yes...I know that's corny, but Je m'on fou! (That's french for "I don't give a shit"...I think. I know it's "I don't give a" something.)

Anway, please review and tell me what you think!


	11. Nightmares

Title: One Stupid Person

Author: quixotic-hope

Rating: M (just to make sure, but it's more like T)

Pairing: Harry/Sev (of course)

Genres: Romance, angst, fluff

Beta: Molvanian Queen-In-Exile

Summary: Sev de-ages himself to spy on Harry and ends up falling in love with him instead.

Author's Note: This is it-the chapter you've all been waiting for. Harry finds out that Alan is really Severus.

Chapter 11: Nightmares

The room was silent. Twenty or thirty children lay in their beds, all fast asleep. All was still.

All was not still.

Without any warning, a loud blast shook the building. Hooded figures in cloaks were appearing out of thin air, blasting apart various objects for amusement's sake. They made their way upstairs, heading for the room in which the now awakened children were. The Death Eaters were heading closer and closer to the room. They opened the door. There was a high-pitched scream—

Harry Potter woke with a start. His heart was pounding, his scar was burning, and his face was dripping with sweat. As he fought to catch his breath, one thought registered: Voldemort is attacking an orphanage!

Harry leapt out of bed and ran over to Alan's, intent on telling the other boy to come with him. However, Alan wasn't there. Confused, Harry shook his head. He didn't have time to worry about where Alan was. He had to find Dumbledore.

xxx

Severus Snape really hated Dumbledore. Yes, the man had saved his life plenty of times and had believed in him when no one else had. So what? Right now, Severus would rather have been fighting Voldemort alone and without a wand than sitting here, forced to stare into those damn twinkling eyes.

He supposed he should be relieved that Dumbledore was supportive, but Severus couldn't shake the nagging suspicion that this had been Dumbledore's plan all along: to get him and Harry together.

"Tea, Severus?" asked Dumbledore pleasantly.

Gritting his teeth, Severus snapped, "Fine."

Smiling, Dumbledore poured Severus some tea and then returned to quietly sipping his own.

"So, Severus, how have you been this past month?"

"The same as every month," returned Severus irritably. He could have been sleeping right now.

"And how's Harry?" the old man asked in the same annoyingly pleasant voice.

"I suppose he's fine as well."

"Come now, Severus, surely you can tell me more than that. I gave you this assignment because Harry was depressed. Surely you can tell me more than 'he's fine.' I would imagine your new relationship with him makes it easier for him to trust you."

xxx

Harry raced through the halls and up to Dumbledore's office. Yelling the password, Harry dashed upstairs. He was about to knock when he heard voices within.

"Severus, how have you been this month?"

Severus? thought Harry. He's back? He listened for the reply, wanting to hear the Potion Master's voice after so many months.

But he didn't hear the Potion Master's voice; he heard Alan's. Then the Headmaster asked how he, Harry, was doing, and once again Alan's voice answered.

What was going on? Sure, he hadn't heard Snape's voice in a while, but he knew it didn't sound like Alan's. Harry leaned closer to listen, all thoughts of the orphanage forgotten.

"I gave you this assignment because Harry was depressed…"

Harry stood still, shocked. He couldn't have heard that right. Alan couldn't be Severus…He couldn't be! Severus Snape would never want to be in a relationship with him.

But the rest of Dumbledore's words registered: "I would imagine your new relationship with him makes it easier for him to trust you."

So that was it. Severus hadn't been gone—he had been Alan. And Alan wasn't interested in Harry at all—he was simply dating him because Dumbledore told him to.

I guess I was right all along, Harry mused sadly. Alan wasn't worried about moving too fast; he was disgusted by me.

Eyes filling with tears, Harry turned to leave only to find himself face-to-face with Professor McGonagall. Startled, Harry jumped back.

"Potter, what are you doing here?" she asked sharply. Seeing the tears in his eyes, her eyes softened. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," lied Harry. Then, remembering why he had come here in the first place, said, "I dreamt that Death Eaters were attacking an orphanage!"

McGonagall was immediately on alert. "You need to speak to the Headmaster." And with that she ushered Harry through the door so quickly that he didn't even have a chance to protest.

"Albus, Potter's had a dream," she announced as soon as she entered. Then she saw Alan. "I'm sorry to interrupt," she added too late.

xxx

Severus looked up as soon as the door opened, revealing Harry and Minerva. Severus saw the tears and pain in Harry's eyes and immediately began to pray to any deity that might exist that Harry was crying because of the dream he'd had and not because of what Albus had said.

"What did you dream, Harry?" asked Dumbledore, he too noting the pain in Harry's eyes.

"I dreamt Death Eaters were attacking an orphanage," Harry answered, determined not to look at Alan/Severus. "My scar hurt, but I don't know if that was simply his trying to trick me or if that was really happening."

"Do you know where it was?" asked Dumbledore.

Harry shook his head. "All I know is that there were about twenty to thirty kids in the room, sleeping. The Death Eaters started Apparating in. They were breaking things as they made their way up to the kids."

"So it's a two story building," said Dumbledore. "Thank you, Harry. I'll be sure to look into this. Is there anything else?"

Harry shook his head again.

"Okay, you can head on back to Gryffindor Tower. In fact, Alan, why don't you go with him. We can finish our discussion later."

"That's okay, Professor," said Harry. "He can stay. I'm sure Professor Snape will be able to help you in some way." And with that, Harry tuned and walked out of the room quickly in an attempt to hide his tears.

The room was silent after Harry left. Minerva was surprised that Harry had discovered the truth. Severus was devastated. Dumbledore was worried about the orphanage. Severus broke the silence first.

"You bastard."

"Now, Severus—"

"No! You knew that he was listening. You had to have known that he was standing right there. You know every damn thing that goes on at this school. Now all of a sudden you don't know that Harry Potter is outside your door?"

Minerva was surprised at Severus' outburst, but Albus wasn't. He had known that Harry was standing there the entire time. He had also known that Severus still hadn't told Harry who he really was, something that he should have done long before he started a romantic relationship with the boy. Albus was sure that everything would work out fine. All the boys needed was a nudge in the right direction.

xxx

He should have known that it was too good to be true. Alan had been funny, attractive and smart—smart enough to realize that the deserved someone way better than Harry. What did he think Alan could have possibly seen in him?

Knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep and not wanting to be there when Al—when Professor Snape got there, Harry didn't return to the dorms. Instead, he decided to go for a walk around the castle.

Cursing himself for not bringing a cloak with him, Harry sat down on the snow under his favorite tree: the tree under which Alan kissed him for the first time. Harry wondered if Alan had planned on kissing him or if the decision to kiss him had been a spur-of-the-moment decision; one that Severus figured Dumbledore would approve of.

Harry tried to stifle his tears, as they only made his frozen face colder. He had no family, no friends, and, now, no lover. How had he gotten himself into this situation? His heart continuing on its path of self-destruction, Harry finally gave in and let the tears fall.

xxx

Harry wasn't in his bed when Severus returned to Gryffindor Tower. Severus immediately tried to squash the feeling of guilt that was rising in his chest. Okay, so he probably should have told Harry sooner. All he had wanted was a little more time with the green-eyed wizard.

What Severus didn't understand was why Harry had looked so sad. Disgust Severus could understand. Anger was perfectly understandable, too, but sadness? Hurt? Severus didn't understand why Harry would be feeling either emotion, but he knew he had to find out. There was still a chance (a small chance, but a chance nonetheless) that he could make things right. But before he could do that, he had to find Harry.

And Severus knew exactly where to find him.

A/n: Okay, if anyone feels that Harry should have been screaming mad instead of sad then, well, sorry. I could only model Harry after how I would feel in that situation, and I would want to get out of there as soon as possible. 


	12. Stop Pretending

Title: One Stupid Person

Author: quixotic-hope

Rating: M (just to make sure, but it's more like T)

Pairing: Harry/Sev (of course)

Genres: Romance, angst, fluff

Beta: Molvanian Queen-In-Exile

Summary: Sev de-ages himself to spy on Harry and ends up falling in love with him instead.

**Chapter 12: Stop Pretending**

How could he have been so stupid as to believe that he had a chance to be loved? Now that he knew that Alan was really Snape, Harry knew that it had all been a huge act to trick him into trusting the "new student."

_He was probably laughing at me the entire time,_ thought Harry sadly.

The more he thought about it, the more Harry began to wonder how much of the past four months had been Dumbledore's idea. As much as Harry distrusted the Headmaster right now, he still didn't believe that Dumbledore would deliberately hurt him. Therefore, he was almost positive that the idea to pretend to date him had been Snape's.

Suddenly, he heard the sound of someone's walking in the snow. Turning around, he saw Alan—Professor Snape, he reminded himself—walking his way. Groaning, Harry pulled his knees to his chest and tried to make himself as small as possible.

xxx

Severus watched as Harry shrank into himself when he saw him and immediately felt guilty again. Noticing the younger man shivering in the cold, Severus conjured up a heavy cloak and draped it across Harry's shoulders.

Xxx

"No thanks," said Harry stubbornly, pushing the cloak off. As much as he wanted warmth, he didn't want help from the man who had tricked him for four months.

"Harry, I—"

"Which did you want to do more," asked Harry, cutting Severus off, "humiliate me or hurt me?"

"Harry, what are you—"

"Or maybe you wanted to do both," mused Harry, not really listening to Severus.

"What makes you believe I wanted to do either?" asked Severus.

"Well," said Harry, trying and failing to sound indifferent, "clearly you don't really lo-have any romantic feelings more me. You must have either been trying to hurt me or humiliate me by making me believe that you did."

xxx

"Did it ever occur to you," said Severus slowly, trying to follow Harry's reasoning, "that maybe I _do_ have romantic feelings for you?"

Harry tried to scoff, but it came out more like a whimper. "Yeah, right. I know you were just laughing at me. I'm not completely stupid, whatever you may think."

"I don't think you're completely stupid," said Severus honestly. "Well, at least not anymore. Harry, you have to believe that I never meant to hurt you—"

"Oh, so it was just good, old-fashioned humiliation then," Harry interrupted again. "I had a feeling that was it."

"Harry, I didn't want to humiliate you, either," insisted Severus.

"Look, I heard Dumbledore, all right? Even if you didn't set out to hurt or humiliate me, you only kissed me because Dumbledore told you to keep an eye on me."

"That's right, he did tell me to keep an eye on you," conceded Severus, "but he never told me to kiss you. That was my doing alone, and I did it because I wanted to, not because I was out for revenge of some sort."

"I doubt it," mumbled Harry, still feeling too hurt and betrayed to look Severus in the eye.

"Harry, I admit that at first I simply wanted to gain your trust so you would tell me what it was that was wrong with you. From there, I could tell Dumbledore, and he would return me to my body. I'm sure you remember when we first met, and I was even more of an ass that day than usual."

Harry nodded so lightly that Severus nearly missed it because of the darkness.

"But Harry, you changed my opinion. When I began this ordeal, I believed that you were a spoiled, selfish, arrogant younger version of your father. However, everything changed when I started talking to you, and I found that you were actually funny, giving, and intelligent. You gave up your free time to help others. You didn't pick a fight with Malfoy when you could have. You thanked me for insulting your friends."

Harry laughed a little in spite of himself. Severus smiled.

"Harry, I meant to hurry up and get back to my life as soon as possible. But then I got to know the real you, and I fell in love with the young man you turned out to be."

xxx

Harry's eyes filled with a fresh set of tears. He wanted to believe Severus so badly, but how could what he was saying be true?

xxx

Severus knew that Harry was hurting and hated himself for causing those doubts and insecurities.

"I know I should have told you who I really was before I kissed you," admitted Severus, "but I was afraid that you liked Alan, and I didn't want to lose you by telling you who I was. I should have been honest with you, and I apologize."

xxx

Had Harry grown up watching TV shows and movies, he would have realized that Severus was saying the same type of things that were prevalent in movies such as _She's All That, 10 Things I Hate About You, _and_ Not Another Teen Movie._ Fortunately for Harry, the Dursleys had never allowed him to watch movies, so Severus' words were completely new and not at all corny or cliché, and therefore he thought them much more sincere than another Muggle-born his age might have.

But now Harry was confused. He wanted to believe Severus, but he'd been lied to before. Maybe all this was simply a ploy to get him back in Harry's good graces because Dumbledore still hadn't found out what was bothering the Boy-Who-Was-Supposed-To-Stay-Healthy-And-Strong-To-Defeat-The-Sodding-Dark-Lord (1).

xxx

"I'm not doing this because Dumbledore wanted me to," said Severus, knowing what Harry was thinking. "He would have been content with our simply being friends. I'm saying this because I truly care about you. I think we should start over, and we should each be honest with the other. What do you think of that?"

xxx

Harry thought a moment. Should he believe Severus? He really, really, really wanted to. Six months ago he had been in love with Severus. Then he had met Alan, and Harry knew that he had started to fall in love with him. Now Alan turned out to be Severus. Harry was so confused.

"I need some time to think about it," said Harry finally.

xxx

"Of course," agreed Severus, glad that Harry hadn't rejected him yet. "Take all the time you need."

They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few moments.

"We should go back inside," said Severus.

"I'd prefer to stay out here for a while," said Harry. "Alone."

"You're not supposed to be out here past curfew…"

"Neither are you."

"Cheeky brat," Severus laughed, easing some of the tension. "If you're not back in that dorm in an hour, I'm going to physically drag you back there myself."

"Thanks for the warning," replied Harry dully.

Severus gave Harry one last thoughtful glance before turning and walking back up to the castle. He knew he shouldn't allow Harry to remain outside in the cold, alone, in the dead of night, but he also knew that he had hurt Harry a lot in the last hour, and he didn't feel that he had any right to tell Harry what to do.

xxx

Once Severus had left, Harry leaned forward, grabbed the cloak that Severus had conjured for him, and pulled it around himself.

(1)Thanks, Neat, for this title. I still love it.

Author's Note:

Thanks so much to everyone who has taken the time to review this story. There's only one chapter left to go!


	13. If You're a Dream, then Come True

Title: One Stupid Person

Author: quixotic-hope

Rating: M (just to make sure, but it's more like T)

Pairing: Harry/Sev (of course)

Genres: Romance, angst, fluff

Beta: Molvanian Queen-In-Exile

Summary: Sev de-ages himself to spy on Harry and ends up falling in love with him instead.

**Chapter 13: If you're a dream, then come true**

The next week was a blur for Harry.

The morning after Severus' revelation, Dumbledore called Harry into his office to tell Harry that there had been no reports of any orphanage attacks the previous night, but the Order was keeping a close eye on all two-story orphanages.

A few days later, Ron and Hermione returned from vacation. After many pokes and prods from Hermione, Ron apologized for the way that he had acted. He said he was just surprised, and that he shouldn't have made such a big deal out of it. Hermione hugged Harry and apologized for the way she and Ron had treated him both before and after he came out. Harry could tell that the professor-turned-student was still angry at Ron and Hermione, but Harry was just glad he had his friends back. Besides, he had more important things to worry about, things he really wished he were able to talk to his friends about…

True to his word, Severus hadn't spoken to Harry, allowing the boy time to think without pressuring him. For that, Harry was thankful.

Everything that he had loved about Severus's personality was true about Alan's, but he still felt as if he were in love with two different people, even though both people were really the same person. It was confusing and frightening, and he had no idea as to how he should even _begin_ to feel.

After a great deal of pondering the subject, Harry supposed he should feel relieved. After all, the only reason he doubted his feelings for Alan was because he knew he still had feelings for Severus, and he felt as if he were cheating on Alan by continuing said feelings for his Professor.

But now that Alan and Severus had turned out to be the same person, shouldn't those thoughts go away? He couldn't have loved Alan because Alan didn't really exist. He liked the way Alan looked, but he liked Severus better. Harry didn't have a problem with the age different because he hadn't before. The student/teacher relationship didn't really matter because he was graduating in six months. Besides, Severus wasn't a teacher right now, anyway.

It all came down to one thing: Harry's feelings for Alan. He had thought that he loved Severus. Then he met Alan, and he had forgotten mostly about Severus. Did that mean that he didn't really love Severus since he had forgotten about him so quickly?

Then again, part of the reason he had liked Alan so much was because he reminded him of Severus. So did that mean that he was a bad person for leading Alan on?

But he really _had_ liked Alan.

After about a week of trying to sort through his various cycling thoughts, Harry decided to talk to Severus. Maybe the man would be able to understand.

xxx

"I was in love with someone who didn't love me back," Harry began as soon as he and Severus were alone.

"Excuse me?" asked Severus, taken aback by that sudden beginning.

"That's the reason that I was depressed before. You can go and tell that to Dumbledore."

"Harry, I already told you that I don't care about his assignment. I care about you," insisted Severus, trying to think of whom Harry loved.

Harry inwardly smiled. He had decided to open with that in case Severus really only cared about finding out whatever Dumbledore wanted to know. Certainly, he could still be lying, but Harry figured the likelihood of that was lower now.

"You said we should be honest with each other," continued Harry. Severus nodded. "I was in love with you-" Merlin it felt strange to be looking at 'Alan' and thinking of him as 'Severus' "-and I figured you would never love me back. That's why I was depressed."

Severus was shocked. Harry had loved him? He opened his mouth to say something, but Harry held up his hand for silence.

"Over the summer, I realized that I should try to stop thinking about you and find someone who could, if not love me, at least like me. Then I met Alan. He had a great sense of humor and knew how to comfort me without getting all sentimental. He reminded me a lot of the man I loved, only he was younger and didn't completely hate me. He kissed me, and, after that, I began to fall in love with him. I felt guilty because I kept comparing him to you, and I felt confused because I felt like I'd known Alan for so much longer than I had.

"Now I find out that you and Alan are the same person, and I feel as if I cheated on Alan—or you—I'm not really sure how to explain it, really."

Severus took a moment trying to understand what Harry was saying.

"I never meant to put you through all that confusion," said Severus honestly. "I never would have imagined that you had feelings for me, though now that you mention it, I understand a few things better."

"Like what?" asked Harry, perplexed.

"Like why you defended me on the train on the first day of school, and why you looked upset that I wasn't going to be there."

"You noticed that?" asked Harry, blushing even though he knew that the man already knew all his secrets.

"Yes, I noticed that, though I didn't understand until now. Harry, I didn't set out to fall in love with you. All I wanted to do was get the damn assignment with over as soon as possible.

"Once I realized that I loved you, my only goal was to spend as much time with you as possible. I was sure that as soon as you found out who I really was, you would be disgusted and leave. I never expected you to feel as confused as you are right now, and I certainly don't want you to feel guilty about your feelings."

"I just don't want you to think that I'm immature or something for falling in and out of love so quickly," said Harry. "I mean, I wasn't in love with Alan, but I probably would have been had I known him for a little longer. I've never felt this strongly about anyone—for you, not Alan—and I don't want you to think that I'd fall out of love with you in three seconds if someone else came along…"

"Harry, trust me, I don't think that you're immature…anymore. Nor do I think that you're one to go for casual flings. If that were the case, you would have used and left me long before now. You wouldn't have spent so much time trying to get to know me first. I trust your judgment, and if you say you love me, then I believe you."

"You're not upset that I liked Alan?" asked Harry.

"No. In fact, I'm rather glad you did, because otherwise we would not be here right now."

"I guess," said Harry, still feeling guilty.

"Let's start over," said Severus. "Harry, would you like to accompany me on a date on Friday?"

"You Severus, or you Alan?" asked Harry.

"Me Severus."

Harry smiled. "I'd love to. As much as I liked Alan, I like you a lot better."

"Glad to hear it," returned Severus, the corners of his lips quirking up in a half-smile.

"When are you going to go back to being you?"

"I don't know," answered Severus. "I'll have to talk to Albus about this. Seeing as the whole point of making me look 17 was so that I could talk to you, I'm sure he'd let me return to my normal self."

"I hope so," said Harry, leaning into Severus. Severus wrapped his arms around Harry and buried his nose in Harry's hair. "Is Dumbledore going to be okay with the two of us being in a relationship?"

"Trust me; he'll be ecstatic," answered Severus, thinking back on all the not-so-subtle hints Albus had given him. "I'll be surprised if he isn't celebrating with a cup of over-sweetened tea and a lemon drop at this very moment."

"Do you think he meant for me to overhear you two that night?" asked Harry.

"Undoubtedly. That man always knows when someone is standing outside his door."

"Are you sorry I found out?" asked Harry, looking into Severus's eyes.

Severus looked right back into Harry's eyes before leaning down and kissing him.

"No."

_fin_

"_You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you. Then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…"_

-Rose Walker, a character from Neil Gaiman's "The Sandman." (Thank you, Lilith for pointing this out!)

This is it.

The end.

Yay!

Thank you so much everyone who has taken the time to review! Your words kept me writing…well…most of them, anyway.

For anyone who doesn't like it…sorry.

For those of you who want a sequel…sorry.

I am a firm believer in knowing when your story is finished and not trying to drag it out more than necessary. Jerry Seinfeld knew that lesson, and so do I. If I were to write a sequel, I would hate writing it, and you would all get bored reading it.


End file.
